Garlic Press: On the Campaign Trail

February 29, 2016

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Donald Trump, expressing frustration with a calendar full of events and observations he called questionable and troubling, suggested a major change, campaigning in Houston, Texas, this morning.


“First we’ve got Martin Luther King Day in January, and then February is Black History Month,” he said, counting events on his fingers. “Women’s History Month is the entire month of March, and there’s a Cesar Chávez Day in March,” he added, shaking his head.


“How about some balance here?” he asked a mostly white crowd of supporters. “One of my first acts as president will be to proclaim a White Men’s History Month. I think white men have accomplished a few things in history that should be recognized too.”


As the crowd cheered, Trump said that once he is elected he will ask David Duke to coordinate the observation. “Even if I disavow his endorsement,” he explains, “he has a lot of connections that would help establish this kind of event.”

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