Breaking News from Garlic Press

fresh-garlic-pressed-7111121Spicy Satire for Traumatic Times




CLEVELAND—According to reliable sources, Melania Trump has expressed remorse after learning that journalists and academics called her speech on the opening night of the Republican Convention plagiarism. Although the Slovenian-born wife of nominee Donald Trump did not write much of the text herself, she reportedly received an elaborate thank-you from Michelle Obama, whose 2008 speech she quoted word-for-word in some passages.


“Profound thanks to #MelaniaTrump for validating my humble thoughts,” Obama tweeted, along with a winking selfie on Tuesday.


Reliable sources say Mrs. Trump has insisted on obtaining time for a chance to speak again at the closing ceremony of the convention, and the same sources have provided Garlic Press with an advance draft of her comments:

tough melania

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

I say to you today, my friends, so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident; that all men are created equal.”

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my husband Donald will lead us to a promised land where foreigners cannot scale the border wall Mexico will pay for.

I have a dream that Donald will protect us from invading Muslims and other would-be terrorists who threaten our American Dream.

And finally, I have a dream that you will ask not what your country can do for you but rather what you can do for your country. Build that wall!

Good night, and Make America Great and White Again.










By Tom H. Hastings


So, let’s channel the cranky ghost of George Wallace as he justified his 1968 run for the presidency when he noted, “There’s not a dime’s worth of difference between the Democrat and Republican parties.” What do we know about that in our day, in this election season?

At the presidential level, we might conclude that:

  • Clinton will be vastly better on basic civil liberties for all Americans than will Trump.
  • Trump just might launch a nuclear war. His ignorance coupled with his impulse-control issues bode more ill than anyone since General Curtis LeMay wanted to go nuclear at the drop of a hat.
  • Trump will wipe the ISIS caliphate off the map, whereas Clinton will likely continue the Barack Obama approach to gradually reducing the ISIS geographical control.
  • Trump will alienate virtually every Muslim on Earth. Clinton will only alienate most of them.
  • Clinton will support reasonable gun control. Trump would expand gun rights, if that is even possible.
  • Trump will appoint a few pro-corporate, anti-human rights Supreme Court Justices. Clinton will appoint moderates to the Supremes.
  • Clinton will maintain decent relationships with black communities and we will hopefully see a decrease in police brutality and corresponding attacks on police. Trump will put many more brutal cops on the streets, which will result in more cops shooting more unarmed African Americans. Trump’s returning combat troops who happen to be African American will be susceptible to carrying out guerrilla attacks on police in our cities.
  • Clinton will moderate our descent into climate chaos by supporting alternative energy generation and reasonable safety regulations on polluters. Trump will accelerate global chaos by deregulating polluters and energy corporations, promoting pipelines and polluting power plants, and tearing up our lands and oceans with drilling disasters.
  • Clinton will continue to attempt to achieve immigration reform. Trump will create a few million other new enemies by his wall and deportations.
  • Clinton’s economic measures will achieve more equity in our economy. Trump’s will benefit the investor class and impoverish the US government.

In sum, a Clinton presidency will likely feature Obama (and Bill Clinton)-style employment growth, wage increases, and deficit reduction, a slower degradation of our environment, and stronger guarantees of human and civil rights.

A Trump presidency will feature both an expansion of US military actions into a bloody surge to crush ISIS but a possible contraction of the US military overall if his statements about NATO and other mentions of what is US concerns are accurate augury. A Trump economy will radically benefit the elite and devastate the working Americans. It will feature acceleration of climate catastrophes and climate refugees, and a dirtier atmosphere, contaminated soil, and polluted surface and ground waters.

There are a few dimes worth of difference in this race. Indeed, a paradigm difference.

We’ve got trouble. Are we ready?


Tom H. Hastings is Founding Director of PeaceVoice.



PVA meeting recap and calendar links

Here is a link to the recap of the June PVA meeting:




Also, please check out our calendar of events – find something you’re interested in and import it directly into your calendar! Link to the calendar here.


Mark your calendars, our next meeting will be on:


          Thursday, August 25, 7:00pm

          Munson Senior Center



SWEC: Islands are springing up in the Rio Grande

islands 2016

Newly formed islands in the Rio Grande provide habitat for wildlife.



Help us restore more habitats along the Rio Grande

We can’t take all the credit, but the fact that islands are springing up in the Rio Grande and providing habitat for birds and other wildlife is due in part to the Southwest Environmental Center’s efforts over the years to reduce dredging and other harmful management practices. Can you help us keep these efforts going? Our goal is to raise $10,000. A generous donor has put up $5000 as a match so we just need 100 people to donate $50 each to reach our goal. Click here to donate today!

Dan Flores to speak in Las Cruces

Mark your calendars! SWEC is very excited to announce that Dan Flores, environmental historian and author of Coyote America and other books about the people and wildlife of the American West, is coming to Las Cruces. He’ll give a free talk at the Rio Grande Theater on Tuesday, September 13th, 7 pm as part of SWEC’s Tuesday Talks series. Stay tuned for details. If your group would like to cosponsor this event contact kevin@wildmesquite.org.

Pearce lobo extinction amendment passes House

An appropriations bill passed by the House last week included an amendment by Representative Steve Pearce (R-NM) that blocksfederal funding for the endangered Mexican gray wolf under the Endangered Species Act (ESA) even though there are fewer than 100 of these rare wolves left in the United States and fewer than 25 in Mexico. It also limits recovery to “historic range,” even though the extent of that range is far from clear, and scientists say the wolves must be restored to new habitats to recover. Hopefully the Senate will kill this measure. Contact your U.S. Senator to make sure!

SWEC is hiring

Want to work for wildlife? We have two positions open at the moment. The first is for a part-time Field Organizer to mobilize public support for Mexican wolves and native wildlife. The other is for door-to-door canvassers in Las Cruces and El Paso. See wildmesquite.org for details.

Not a member? Please join us! We speak for wildlife and wild places. We work to protect and restore vital habitats, like Otero Mesa, and endangered species, like the Mexican Gray Wolf. We’ve had more than 20 years of success and we cannot do it without our members. So please join us today by making a secure online donation! Call 575-522-5552 or contact info@wildmesquite.org for more info.
Southwest Environmental Center
275 N. Main
Las Cruces, NM 88001
United States


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