Breaking News from Garlic Press

January 12, 2018

Spicy Satire for Traumatic Times

UN calls Trump’s mouth a “shithole nation”


At an emergency meeting on Friday the United Nations Security Council declared Donald Trump’s mouth a “shithole nation” and urged travelers to steer clear of its “vile, filthy, lying, hate-filled borders.” The move came after Trump, according to multiple sources, referred to Haiti, El Salvador and Honduras in derogatory terms and several African nations as “shithole nations” in connection with Congressional proposals to expand refugee protections as part of immigration reform.

The Security Council vote was unanimous, with the United States and Russia abstaining. U.S. Ambassador to the UN Nikki Haley refused to speak with reporters after she registered the abstention.


In tweets on Friday morning Trump denied he used the language alleged, despite corroboration by Illinois Sen. Dick Durbin, who attended the meeting. Adding to his voluminous total of lies since taking office, the president said he was “tough” but not vulgar or profane. According to the Washington Post, Trump has told over 2,000 lies in just under one year in office, or about 5-and-a-half lies a day. This puts him on a pace to overtake Adolf Hitler and eventually the all-time leader, Josef Stalin.

Meanwhile, there was reaction from Norway, in response to another Trump statement reportedly made after the “shithole nation” remark. After his derogatory comments, Trump allegedly asked why we can’t get more immigrants from countries like Norway.

Christian Christensen, an American professor of journalism at Stockholm University in neighboring Sweden, tweeted:

“Of course people from #Norway would love to move to a country where people are far more likely to be shot, live in poverty, get no healthcare because they’re poor, get no paid parental leave or subsidized daycare and see fewer women in political power. #Shithole”

“On behalf of Norway: Thanks, but no thanks,” tweeted Torbjoern Saetre, a politician representing Norway’s Conservative Party in a municipality near Oslo.

Another tweeted, “We have universal health care, jobs, effective gun control and no poverty. Won’t be moving to your shithole nation.”

In response, Trump said the U.S. would cut off aid to Norway and further reduce funding to the “Shithole United Nations.”




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